As a warrior I am ALWAYS willing to be open. Why? Simply because I want to LEARN; I want to gain more personal power. If I am only ever wanting to prove to everyone around me that my knowledge is superior to theirs I will learn nothing new about MYSELF!!! Therefore I LISTEN to the other person with every fibre of my being AND I look at that person in terms of being a MIRROR for me. I can afford to do this and not feel inadequate, or attacked, or defensive, or uncertain, BECAUSE I have enough BELIEF in myself and my knowledge not to be brought off-balance by what the other person is pointing out or saying to me. By doing this I not only listen to the face value of what the other person is trying to say, but I try with everything I’ve got to grasp what lies BEYOND the face value of the words. In this way I can and do hear CLEARLY.
This is not always easy to do, especially not when being criticised or receiving negative feedback. And yet if I am wanting to learn then I HAVE to remain open and defenseless. If, after having listened fully and without all that internal chatter that comes about because of wanting to be defensive, I find that there is value in what the other person has said to me, then I would be an utter fool not to take on board what has been said to me. But if, on the other hand, I find that the other person has nothing of value to offer me I have two options open to me. If that person is of no concern to me I will decide in the moment whether or not there is anything to be gained from pointing out to that person his/her folly. But in doing so there is no need for me to have to prove to that person that I AM right. I will simply state my case and leave it at that. In other words, such a battle is not worth my while to fight.
However, if I care about that person, I will attempt to guide that person towards achieving his/her OWN clarity on the issue at hand, but at the same time taking CARE to express to that person my genuine willingness to co-operate with him/her towards both of us gaining from the interaction. In this respect I will ONLY become firm, or fierce, for that matter, IF it is clear that the other person is NOT wanting to listen, and is only acting in defence of his/her view of the world. But if I am forced to become ruthless I do so only because I genuinely care enough about that person not to allow him/her to keep on indulging in folly that is clearly doing him/her no good. In other words, my ruthlessness is not because I am wanting to prove myself right. My ruthlessness is an attempt to help the other person break out of their view of the world, no matter what it takes. This is the true meaning of unconditional love.